Wednesday, March 7, 2007

"So Easy a Lawyer Can Do It"


We have all seen the ads for Geico that inexplicably denigrate cavemen by exclaiming repeatedly, "So easy a caveman can do it," apparently referring to buying auto insurance. [Geico "Caveman" pictured above left].

This months edition of the popular magazine, Caveman Quarterly "CQ" revealed that Geico was sued in a secret proceeding at Guantanamo Bay by the American Bar Association for copyright infringement. The ABA claimed it had a copyright on the use of "cavemen" and "any other primitive being" to advertise the association.

The CQ article revealed for the first time (after a reversal of the governments' prohibition on discussing secret court proceedings)some of the action in the historic trial.

The ABA's Legal Director, Phil Hartman Cirroc [photographed above at right]during closing arguments in the trial stated:

"It's just 'Cirroc', your honor, and, yes, I'm ready.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists.

"Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW and run off into the hills, or wherever. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder: 'Did little demons get inside and type it?' I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts.

"But there is one thing I do know - when a man like my client slips and falls on a sidewalk in front of a public library, then he is entitled to no less than two million in compensatory damages, and two million in punitive damages. Thank you."

After Judge Art Linkletter, [yes he is still alive] pointed out to Attorney Cirroc that he was arguing a copyright infringement case and not a slip and fall case, Cirroc reportedly picked the judge up over his head and threw him into the jury, yelling: "I'm just a caveman dammit, just a caveman." Four court officers using mace and batons were finally able to subdue the distraught Cirroc.

Despite the violence, after only ten minutes of deliberation (while Cirroc growled outside the jury room), a verdict was rendered for the ABA.

In a press release soon after the trial Geico released a new ad program featuring various prominent lawyers complaining about ads claiming: "So easy a lawyer can do it."

The ABA threatened another lawsuit.

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